I've been a follower of Claire's blog for years but it was only the other day that I felt pulled to do this meditation series.
I chose the series that focuses on making peace and healing. It's designed for those who feel called to cleanse, release + let go of anything that no longer serves, for those who feel that it’s time to get grounded and come back to their peaceful centre.
Basically it was a HELL YES from me.
Even though yoga has taken a bit of a back bench position in my daily life lately, meditation and mindfulness is my religion. It's a non-negotiable in my day, even if it's just for a few minutes.
"A daily meditation practice can help you to feel the way you want to feel. To live the way you deserve to live. To experience joy from the inside out."
- Claire Obeid
I thought it would be nice to share some extracts from my meditation journal in the name of transparency & openness. I get asked a lot about my meditation practice and lots of people have this idea that meditation is clearing the mind completely, relaxing into a state of total bliss immediately and the end result is floating around on cloud nine for the rest of the day/week/lifetime.
My response is always the same. That could not be further from the truth. And I suppose sharing my journal is my way of sharing my experience with it...
Oh my my my, it proved rather difficult for me to settle in tonight. So. Much. Resistance. Thoughts about this and that and that and this swirling everywhere...my breath was short and I felt dizzy. Real dizzy..like my aura and energy field was swirling from side to side.
Not judging how I was feeling though was the path to stillness...or at least more stillness! Letting these feelings & thoughts float through me helped me to settle in and connect to Claire's speakings of bliss and grounding. I started to connect with feeling like a watcher of my thoughts and my teachings from all of my past teachers started to ping up in front of me.
I felt the energy of water at times, the feeling of things flowing past me...the changing of times...it was just a feeling but I really miss being by the sea. Looking forward to Cornwall and spending days in the sea with loved ones.
Toward the closing of the meditation I really did feel bliss. I really did feel connected.
Today I'm grateful for the sunshine, for the coming of spring and the newness that this time of year brings. Showing compassion to myself in my meditation practice today when it felt like it went to shit at the beginning. Gratitude for the fresh flowers that we have around the flat at the moment. Gratitude for the gratitude expressed by my boss. For the love that Ben and I have, for Goblin and our gorgeous wonderful homely home.
The intention that I choose to set this evening is...being kind to myself. For not judging my lack of yoga teaching as 'failure', for viewing it as something that comes and goes like the tides...I am planning on practicing my teaching the next few weeks and starting small and cosy classes in my home. My intention is to be present with this thought as time passes. Today my unconscious intention was to spend some time outside looking up at the sky...to be a witness to magical Mother Nature.
Experiencing bliss is feeling at home in my body. Experiencing my life and the world around me in a mindful and wondrous way. Feeling and bringing the light. Returning to it when I am feeling the darkness. Trusting that the Universe is always supporting me. Coming home to a place of love.
The repetitive thoughts in my mind that get in the way of bliss are that I am a failure for not teaching the past six months, for dipping into the darkness and this being a reflection of my not-enoughness. The thoughts that I'm fat because I have put on some weight, the thoughts that this matters because society tells me that being skinny = happiness. The thoughts that my external world create the stillness that I feel on my internal world.
I hope sharing my experience might help at least someone. I would love to hear your experiences of meditation so please share or email me if you would prefer.
Remember... meditation is a practice. There is no end goal. The journey is the goal.
p.s details on Claire's course can be found here. Her meditations are beautiful & come highly recommended.