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London town, space and talk of silence.

27 November 2013

 
I love London. It's my home. My place. The resting outer space of my soul. I will never not love London but lately I've started to feel a change taking place with how I feel about it. A subtle shift in what I'm looking to have more of in my life. What I really desire.
 
 
More space. More fresh air. More outdoors. More silence.
 
And all those things? They don't exactly flow with abundance here in London.
 
 
It's been a fleeting sense of claustrophobia that I've been feeling. The over crowding, the pollution, the rudeness, the rushing. It impacts slowly and subtly over time. And it's been nearly five years now. I'm feeling the impact. More and more.
 
 
Don't get me wrong, I still get those moments of awe-struck wonderment looking out over the twinkling city on my way home and I really do feel so incredibly lucky.
 
 
But it doesn't feel enough anymore. I used to feel that wonderment all the time. Now I just want to have more space. Space, space. It always come back to space.
 
 
More space to explore, to take walks, to feel the quiet. What a dream it would be to be able to practice yoga outside...not to be disturbed by a busy main road, honking horns, commuters on their morning runs, foxes scavenging in bin bags. To just be and move in the quiet. 
 
 
But London will be in our story for a few years yet. It fits for now, it fits us just fine. It's where I need to explore the next chapter of my life; teaching yoga, writing, building my dream from the ground up, spending time with Ben before a family comes along.
 
The unease, that disquieting feeling I get... it's definitely there to remind me what I am aiming for. And aim I will.
 
 
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8 comments :

  1. i love this. i find myself thinking these same thoughts all too often. sometimes i wish i could just step outside, and all i could hear were the sounds of nature. nothing man made. i luckily live minutes away from some amazing mountains, so at least i have a getaway from time to time.

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  2. I'm always saying that someday, I want to live in a big house, with a big yard and hopefully a nice forest around or just a hill. ah, life.
    (with lots of cats & dogs of course)

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  3. I really enjoyed this post. I love cities, but I can imagine I'll end up living on the outskirts of one with the aims of finding a good balance! x

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  4. in the end we all want the simple things. i'm thinking the same. dreaming of a house with a backyard and the smell of fresh tree in the morning. love this post

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  5. I love these images. We feel the same too, London for a little while yet, whilst we're still in our twenties, then out to the countryside to settle down. I can't wait :)

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  6. I absolutely understand how you feel. I have lived in a quite big city for 7 years and it drove me crazy by the end. I just had to get out, back to the countryside. And I couldn't love my little village more. Out the door I'm in the middle of fields and trees and quietness. I love it.
    You'll get there, I'm sure. And it'll be so wonderful when you finally get that place you always wanted :)

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  7. I completely understand. London can get really stuffy at times, but it has so many wonderful qualities that for now it's completely worth it.

    { Teffys Perks Blog } X

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  8. I get the same feeling about London. I've lived here my whole life and I've fallen out of love with it. I'm itching to move, I'd love to move abroad. But my life belongs here for now. Finishing my degree, starting my career from that degree. I think I'll be moving further out soon, getting more space, a garden, not sending my daughter to a cramped inner city school... but then it scares me not to live in London at the same time. Apart from my stints in LA, another big city, it's all I've ever known. Not being able to hop on a bus or a train to see my friends, the thought scares me. But I will always embrace change. Change is good :) :) :)

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