Ben asked me to name this post "biscuits in space". So that's precisely what I've done. I couldn't resist.
I'm sitting here snuggled up on the couch enjoying my sixth hot toddy of the last two days and although it is doing nothing for my head cold or extremely stuffy nose, it's going a long way to help me emotionally. Much like eating the last of the chocolate we had in the house earlier.
Anyway, back to the point...these last few weeks I've been thinking about my edges. Where I end and where others begin. What's my business and what's their business. Where I create my boundaries, how I enforce them and how I protect myself. Earlier this year I had no idea these types of edges even existed. Sas and I talked about them in most of our sessions and seems I am still trying to get a hold of them. It's exhausting and I realised today over emails with close friends that I am exhausted. I'm tired of it all and when I feel like this I withdraw. I crave peace, isolation, quietness and time at home. It's like a hibernation that I go through...a subtle withdrawal to give myself time to figure out what I am actually feeling about all of these messy and complicated happenings.
And all that is totally okay and I'm going slowly and gently with myself (I promise) but I seem to back away from this space first and that upsets me. I've put things off (hello holiday posts), my commenting has been sparse at very best and I've been keeping lots (and lots) of posts in drafts. But I'm working on it. I love this blog of mine and over the next few weeks I'm going to try slowly and gently get back into it all.
Navigating all of this 'stuff' is tricky and prickly but like I said... slowly and gently does it and I am in no rush.
I think it's about time for my seventh hot toddy, what do ya think?