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A morning snapshot...of the things that went through my brain on my way to work today:

12 July 2013

Not a chance I am going to walk under that monster of a ladder, no sir.
 
It's just a ladder on a street Nicola, don't be stupid.
 
Walks around ladder.
 
Turns around a little further down the road and sees someone walk under the ladder and feels grateful it wasn't me.
 
Oh Nicola, sometimes you are so silly.
Ohhhhh goodies being given out near the station. Grab some Nicola, good girl. 
 
I love free goodies, especially free chocolatey goodies.
 
I think I am going to ignore the fact that these are really bad for me.
 
79 calories for ONE COOKIE?? Wtf.
 
I'm going to eat it anyway.
 
Don't eat it Nicola, you will regret it.
 
Whoops too late.
 
Well done fatty....as if all the emotional and hormonal eating that has gone on all week wasn't bad enough??? Bread, chocolate, ice cream, burgers...and now a cookie?
 
I instantly regret it. The cookie wasn't even that good. I feel disappointed.  
 
Be nice to yourself Nicola, it's not about how you fall off the wagon it is about how you get yourself back on it. Kindness and compassion. Yada, yada, blah, blah, shut-up.
 
Declare my clean eating plan for the whole weekend; two green smoothies a day with only one treat allowed. Yoga twice a day and lots of rest.
Maybe I should have at least brushed my hair this morning?
 
Nah, the extra two minutes in bed with my boys were worth it...I'll brush it later when I get to work.
 
Spends double the time trying to get a brush through it when finally at work.
 
Next time Nicola, brush your hair when you get up.
Ben: If there was a zombie apocalypse I'm sorry babe but I would have to leave you. For sure you would get us killed.

*My jaw drops.
 
Me: That is SO UNFAIR. Why would you do that to me??
 
Ben: Babe, you don't even like being in a bit of a crowd on Regent Street, what are you going to be like when mayhem breaks loose all over the city and people are acting crazy??
 
Me: You would just leave me? Alone?? To die???
 
Ben: Yeah I think so, but especially if we have children!
 
Me: WHAT?!!!!!!!! You would leave me and our children alone??? To die??? You are unbelievable!!!
 
Ben: No of course not, I would take the children with me. They would have a much better chance with me and my brothers than with you.
 
Me: I literally cannot believe this. You take that back right now mister.
 
Ben: No.
 
*I then proceed to glare at Ben for the next ten minutes, thinking about ways that I can trip him up to make him feel a little of the pain I am feeling at this revelation.
 
Ben: Sorry babe, it is what it is.
 
*More glaring. More scheming.
 
Ben: Okay okay, a compromise?? If we have kids then I will leave you behind. BUT, if we don't have kids I will stay with you and we can become zombie's together.
 
Me: Much better. Now buy me a nice present to make up for what has just happened.

3 comments :

  1. Hahah how could he leave you?! And take the children! That should be two presents right there!

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  2. Hilarious!I'm so superstitious that walking around the streets is a daily ordeal for me - ladders, black cats, three drains in a row - there's just so much to avoid. (I wish I was joking, but nope, deadly serious.) Hope you enjoyed the sun - that photo is making me miss London in the summer! xox

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  3. I've been meaning to try those maryland gooeys, so you've done me a favour by saying they're not that nice - now I don't have to regret it :) xx

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