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I need a holiday & some thoughts on this blog thing...

11 April 2013

It's April.
I'm still wearing my winter boots. (That's about 20 weeks of constant wear now - eek)
I'm still wearing my woolly hat.
And my flip-flops are nowhere to be seen.
It's grey and it's rainy. Again.  
(Dad & Wendy this is picture is for you - excited about coming back to the UK??)
 
This crabby weather is wreaking havoc with my sanity creativity.
 
Take yesterday. I had a blank post open for hourrrssss and I had nothing to say. Nothing of worth, nothing that would be interesting to anyone and nothing that I felt I 'should' put down and put out there.
It wasn't the first time this has happened but it was the first time I became really aware of it and how I felt about it...There was this guilt that popped up instantly because I had no desire to write nonsense (I know - wtf??!) and no desire to work at it, to push through and write anyway.
So I closed the page, let go of the guilt and put it to rest for the day.
I walked away. I didn't push.
Let me tell you now, that this was a big deal for me.
There are few things in my life that I have worked on consistently as much as this blog.
My (weird) little blog is a year and a few months old now. I have written 200 posts. I have made friends all over the world and I have invested myself fully into it. In the past when I haven't posted I felt guilty and as a result all the fun gets sucked out of blogging.
To take a step back and say to myself yesterday that it is totally fine not to post and more importantly not to worry or feel guilty about it, was a big step for me.
I was treating myself with complete kindness and compassion.
I was silencing that nasty voice in my head that says 'You must do this/that or you are a failure'.
If I don't want to write, that's okay.
If I want to write, that's okay.
If I want to write complete and utter nonsense, that's okay.
If I want to post pictures of  just Goblin and nothing else, that's okay.
If I want to post pictures of my feet, that's okay.
If I am going through a creativity slump (I blame the weather completely), then that's okay.
Being kind to myself and letting go of guilt and pressure may be the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. But I will try and I will try bloody damn hard. I deserve to be kind to myself.
For now I am going to take a breath and just see what happens...
 
Have a good weekend folks & go easy.

15 comments :

  1. story of my life!
    Sometimes you just need a few days away from the blogging world, and then it all comes rushing back (hopefully)
    Suzi x

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  2. That's exactly how I've been feeling lately. Haven't done much, been anywhere so therefore nothing to talk about. I had a blogging week off over Easter and I am starting to get my creative juices back. Slowly but surely.

    You have yourself a great weekend :-) xx

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  3. that's totally fine to get a break. oh, you should come down here to Bali. told you that before. we'll have sunshine!!!

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  4. I think the weather can definitely affect our creative juices--and I also always feel most creative when I'm not feeling pressured: "I must write something." I think the beginning of true spring and when our blood actually starts to thaw out, writing will come a little easier.

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  5. I love having a little break from blogs and blogging every now and then, it's SUCH an effort to keep up as a hobby if you dont enjoy it!

    and hury up sunshine / summer :( x

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  6. Totally know how you feel. This entire week has been like that for me. I definitely enjoy it more when I don't pressure myself to keep up with it consistently. And really, what's the point of blogging if you have to force yourself to write?

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  7. I wore my pumps last week...but alas, I'm also back in the winter boots today...sigh. Oh, and anytime you want to post pics of just Goblin is fine with me!

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  8. We'd rather see the best you on a good day than a forced you on a not so good day. Don't feel guilty for not posting on one day (although I know how you feel). I'm doing a major blog re-design right now and had to go through every.single.post to change the photo sizes and looking back, I could tell instantly which ones I had kind of pushed out because I felt I needed to write something that day, and I just thought URGH when I was reading them back and I even deleted a couple. (And we don't mind seeing 1 million pictures of goblin) have a good weekend!
    http://myfroley.blogspot.com

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  9. I completely understand - I went through a long phase where I felt if I wasn't posting 5-6 times a week, I was being a blogging failure and would lose all my new-found friends/readers. I finally realized that I wasn't having fun, so I decided I was just going to blog when I felt like it, and I was going to blog whatever I wanted. And I haven't lost any friends or readers, if anything I've gained some. Do what makes you happy!!

    Re: Your weather...I woke up to another 3-4" of snow this morning. Blah.

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  10. These things are natural. The weather has been atrocious! I can't blame you but as a new follower I don't think we expect anything and these lulls are part of the process. Don't worry take a complete day off, I think we will still be here when you get back.

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  11. You're right, it is okay! I would rather you posted once a month with something that is so very you than 5 times a week with something forced, you know? You be you, do whatever you need to do and we'll be here when you're ready! <3

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  12. You're absolutely right, there's no point in pushing it and making yourself sick with stress and guilt. I've been so busy with university and moving recently, which was stressful enough on it's own, but on top of that I was stressed out about neglecting my blog. Blogging is meant to be fun, it's important not to lose sight of that! x

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  13. I often have the same guilty feelings. What's funny is that I'm sure other people don't even care/notice that I haven't posted on a Wednesday, but it kind of irks ME! But I try to remind myself, "Quality over quantity". It works...sometimes.

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  14. I want spring to finally come, too!
    And yes, please do not pressure yourself to write, do not lose the fun. I enjoy your writing so much, but at least to me it doesn't matter if you write something every day, every week or every month even. Just stay true to yourself! :)

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  15. You did well by walking away and not feeling the guilt, this is excellent self-care my friend. So you are practising the one thing which you wanted to do; which is take care of you. I applaud you. This weather is also wreaking havoc on my sanity and creativity so you are not alone and definitely don't feel bad about not posting but I am more than happy to see a post full of pics of Goblin (and I am sure I am not alone in saying that!). We will be here, waiting for you when you feel up to posting again and failing that I shall just come up to Balham and stalk ya ;) (joke - I know how some things don't translate well over the tinternet, hate anyone to get any funny ideas about me!). Take care of you x

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Go on... stalk me a little..