I'm still wearing my winter boots. (That's about 20 weeks of constant wear now - eek)
I'm still wearing my woolly hat.
And my flip-flops are nowhere to be seen.
It's grey and it's rainy. Again.
(Dad & Wendy this is picture is for you - excited about coming back to the UK??)
This crabby weather is wreaking havoc with my
Take yesterday. I had a blank post open for hourrrssss and I had nothing to say. Nothing of worth, nothing that would be interesting to anyone and nothing that I felt I 'should' put down and put out there.
It wasn't the first time this has happened but it was the first time I became really aware of it and how I felt about it...There was this guilt that popped up instantly because I had no desire to write nonsense (I know - wtf??!) and no desire to work at it, to push through and write anyway.
So I closed the page, let go of the guilt and put it to rest for the day.
I walked away. I didn't push.
Let me tell you now, that this was a big deal for me.
There are few things in my life that I have worked on consistently as much as this blog.
My (weird) little blog is a year and a few months old now. I have written 200 posts. I have made friends all over the world and I have invested myself fully into it. In the past when I haven't posted I felt guilty and as a result all the fun gets sucked out of blogging.
To take a step back and say to myself yesterday that it is totally fine not to post and more importantly not to worry or feel guilty about it, was a big step for me.
I was treating myself with complete kindness and compassion.
I was silencing that nasty voice in my head that says 'You must do this/that or you are a failure'.
If I don't want to write, that's okay.
If I want to write, that's okay.
If I want to write complete and utter nonsense, that's okay.
If I want to post pictures of just Goblin and nothing else, that's okay.
If I want to post pictures of my feet, that's okay.
If I am going through a creativity slump (I blame the weather completely), then that's okay.
Being kind to myself and letting go of guilt and pressure may be the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. But I will try and I will try bloody damn hard. I deserve to be kind to myself.
For now I am going to take a breath and just see what happens...
Have a good weekend folks & go easy.