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Self-care.

13 February 2013

 
The last few days have been a struggle. They have challenged me, changed me and made me feel rather miserable. But yesterday it hit me. I need to look after myself better. I want to be the best version of myself so that I can better help the people I love with their challenges and their struggles.
 
About a week ago I stumbled across series of posts about self-care that was schemed up by Mara Glatzel and Tamarisk Saunders-Davies called "The Perfectly Imperfect Project: Real Self-Care". Immediately bookmarked I read the new posts every day but what I was reading never sunk in. It was like I was seeing the words, but not reading and absorbing them. That was until yesterday when I could see myself falling towards a place that I am not comfortable being in (again) and I realised that I need to catch myself before I get there.
 
I re-read those articles like you wouldn't believe and last night I acted. I took a little time for me. To give me what I needed. I had a shower to rid myself of the day and used all of my "fancy occasion" products. I put on my favourite perfume, my cutest pyjamas and sat down with a glass of red and an amazing book (this one). I listened to this play list and I let myself relax. No netflix, no texting, no instagram, no twitter and certainly no ironing (yuck). Nothing.
And you know what...today I feel all the better for it.
 
But last night was only a small part of the bigger picture. My self care runs much deeper than a bit of pampering, a glass of wine and a good book. I have spent too much time over the last few years being shockingly unkind to myself and this has got to stop. It was like I suddenly realised that this self care shindig is a life long process. It's something that needs to be tended to and maintained all the time. The older I get, the easier it seems for me to simply forget that I need to look after myself in order to help others.
 
I am going to start eating better. I am going to listen to my body. I have decided to not keep my "fancy" products/clothes/shoes/bags/perfume/jewellery as just "fancy occasion" things; I am going to incorporate the special into my every day life. I am going to invest in some therapy.  I am going to do more yoga. I am going to be more selfish about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I am going to surround myself and invest myself only in people who are important to me. I am going to believe Ben when he tells me I am beautiful. I am going to check in more with how I am feeling. I am going to learn from people who inspire me.
I am going to be more present in my own life.
 
 
"In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel “burnout” setting in, if you feel demoralised and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective."
~ Dalai Lama
 
What does your self-care look like?

22 comments :

  1. Beautiful post. It's so easy to forget to look after yourself isn't it?

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  2. Amazing! I honestly think being selfish about your time and who you spend it with is so important. We're young, we're not married, and we don't have kids - it's okay to be a little selfish with our time while we still can!

    I have to try Yoga. I'll send you an awkward picture of me making a fool out of myself next time :)

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  3. This was beautiful Nicola! Absolutely beautiful. All the best :) Rach xxx

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  4. thank you for writing this. i need reminder from time to time to take care of my self better too

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  5. First of all, Gone Girl is a great book! Second of all, I think this post is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I am using the "I'm too busy" excuse for far too long now.

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  6. Really great post Nicola. I think we spend so much time putting others before ourselves and neglecting our own needs, that we lose sight of who we really are and what we really want for our own life. I always remember when my Mum was alive and I was going through periods of self-loathing and hatred and despair, she would always say "Kay if you don't love and care for yourself, how do you expect others too?" and it is so simple but so true. Hubby and I are going through a tough time at the moment with our business and last week I realised I had spent the best part of 5 years doing things for other people and putting what I really want on hold. Since then I have sat down and thought about what I really want from my life and what makes ME happy and I discovered that I want to go back to my one true love of a career which I started out at aged 17 but didn't carry on with. So now I have (literally) just come off the phone from the college and I am re-enrolling this September to pick up where I left off 23 years ago and I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders because I realise I am caring for me now. I am also reading a book by Louise Hay called 'You can heal your life'. Good luck in your self-care programme, it is one of the best things you will ever do.

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  7. I love this post. Australia sort of made me realise the same things about myself and it's surprising how a little positivity helps get the ball rolling. I hope you manage to keep it up and continue to feel better about yourself lovely :) xxx

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  8. What an inspiring post, I'm taking all this in like a sponge :) I completely agree with all the above (you & the comments), these things should be a top priority yet we tend to forget them every day.


    I'd also quickly like to say that I'm a new follower of yours and I've spend quite some time today going through your blog - I absolutely love it, cannot believe I've never heard of you before! Such a thrill to read everything you write :)

    Nanna Emma x

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  9. This is a wonderful post! Good luck in continueing your self care xx

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  10. So glad to hear you are taking such a great step for yourself. I also find it tricky to take time out to do things for myself. I will definitely check out those self care articles ! Hopefully it will teach me a thing or two :)

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  11. It looks a lot more like this now :) Thanks for sharing, and the inspiration! xxx

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  12. I'm sorry you've had a rough few days! I've been right there with you.

    Taking time for yourself is the BEST. Sometimes it's exactly what you need to recharge.

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  13. Woohooo! I love this post so much - thank you for jumping in on the fun! I am so glad that I came across your post and have added it to the list of participants. Thank you! xo

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  14. This is a great post and all of these things are so important. I have to do the same now and then, particularly if I have a few weeks where my diary fills up and I start getting that feeling of being out of control and not having any time to myself. When that happens I clear my diary and schedule in me time - long baths, clean sheets, a good book and just chill. I also think those other things you listed are so important too, it's good to take some time to put yourself and your needs first, sometimes you just need a little reflection and headspace to realise what's important in life and how to surround yourself with people who breed positivity and happiness in you. Hope you feel better xo

    Rosie | A Rosie Outlook

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  15. This is a great post. A few months ago I was in a similar place and couldn't get out of my "funk".

    I am totally with you on the shower/fancy products thing. It sounds so simple but I realised that by taking a night off from technology and having a bubble bath, reading a book and recharging my batteries would work wonders for the following day.

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  16. I love this, good for you! I think we could all use a little more of all of that. Following in your words :)

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  17. yes! that last paragraph was very touching and a great reminder for me. sending you good vibes, lady love!

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  18. I love this post! It's so important to take care of ourselves... whether that means working out so we can feel OK about eating that pizza or just treating ourselves to a night of nothing but reading and relaxing with a glass of wine xx

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  19. Dear Nicola-loved reading your post on self care...yup!! it's a lifelong process. Who knew:)Also...I read through some of your other posts as well...your sweet shining spirit + sassy sense of humor put a smile on my face this morning. xxx

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  20. I love this post Nicola, so so true. Thank you for reminding us all!xx

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  21. Hiya, I just read your post, I can relate to it :)

    maid in Ireland

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  22. You have no idea how much I needed to read this. Thank you.

    Kate.

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