I have tried to start this post 4538 times today, so obviously my that day started off shit has eased into my blog brain and made me shit at this. Charming.
I have no plan as to what to write today so will start with life lately.
It's been both fantastic and awfully stressful at the same time.
The last few weekends have been such brilliant fun (centre parcs, bournemouth, seeing best friends this weekend) and for that I am grateful. So incredibly grateful.
But on the other hand there has been a lot of stress surrounding me and the people I love.
After a while that takes it toll and as a result of this I have been doing lots of things half heatedly. I have known this and it has been a niggling thought in the back of my head for a while now but today it has hit me hard.
Today I realised that I want to start getting myself back on track.
I want to go out and see my friends more, I want to meet new people and to stop saying no to things.
I want to treat my body better. I want to help my family more, to take more pictures of them all and to squeeze and cuddle Goblin more. I want to treat Ben more because my life wouldn't be the same without him. I want to cuddle everyone. I want to make people smile and laugh. I want to make people happy and proud.
I want more.
Maybe I am thinking about things too deeply, but at the moment some things are not how I want them to be and this rambling feels like my way of saying I want to be better.
I want to be better so that I can help the people I love better.
So here is to making a start and doing all of these things.
And to drinking more hot chocolate and cupcakes. Just because.